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Baa Baa, Black Sheep…

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black sheep of internet marketingHave you ever had the feeling that you are NOT in control of what happens to you and your family?

That all it takes is for someone to snap their fingers and all your perceived security and stability are gone with the wind?

Two weeks ago, I didn’t care how much money I made with Traffic Generation Cafe.

Two weeks ago, we had a stable income from a 9 to 5 job that allowed me to work on my business as much or as little as I wanted to.

Two weeks ago, our lives were entirely different.

But then someone decided to take it all away from us.

And it hit me…

Allowing someone else to control our lives is the most insecure feeling there is.

Why is it that we allow some stranger or an entity like a corporation to have a say in whether my family eats boxed mac-n-cheese or steak for dinner?

YOU Choose Your Life

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately and came to the very obvious in many ways conclusion that most people don’t live the way they’d like to because they CHOOSE NOT TO.

How is it that we know what we’d like for our lives to be like, yet choose to do something else?

I am convinced that it’s because very few are born to be the “black sheep”.

We all have our perceptions of what “normal” is and for most of us, it’s wake up at the crack of dawn, scramble to put together breakfast, drop the kids off at school, fight with traffic to get to your 9 to 5, barely make it through the day, sit in traffic again, shop for groceries, cook, clean, send the kids off to bed, then sit down exhausted and feeling helpless to turn any of this around…

We make choices in our lives because we are conditioned to see certain paths as “normal”, mainstream, comfortable, and acceptable.

Yet those happened to be the very choices that make us feel like a hamster in a spinning wheel - always running and getting nowhere.

Being Black Sheep is a Choice

Being a black sheep is a bit scary, I must admit.

It certainly has a negative connotation, if you think about it.

“He is the black sheep in the family”. “She is the black sheep in the office”. Others don’t approve of the black sheep and that’s why we don’t want to be labeled as one.

However, black sheep just means different and different might be a good thing.

Many times being a black sheep takes courage, tenacity, determination, willpower, and thick skin.

You might be ridiculed by those closest to you.

You might hear them say “Why don’t you just go and get a real job?”

“You don’t have what it takes to succeed on your own!”

And here’s my personal favorite that I heard last week “There are plenty of jobs in retail.”

Yes, it hurts to hear that.

Yes, it’s scary to take responsibility for your outcomes in a way that most people will never have the courage to do.

But you and I already chose to be the black sheep.

We already dared to dream.

We want to become the decision-makers of our lives.

We’ll turn the deaf ear to the naysayers.

We won’t argue with them. We’ll simply prove them wrong.

Traffic Generation Cafe is Here to Stay

…And grow …and defy every “norm” …and give me the kind of freedom and control that no one can take away from me and my family.

I hope you feel the same about your business.

There’s a reason you are still reading this post. You want more. You dream bigger. You want to make it work.

And you are not alone.

I am right there with you.

And to all the naysayers, we say:

I think retail industry will have to learn to do without me. LOL

And now that I shook off all the “you are not good enough” whispers (or screams) in my ear, here’s my first order of business…

I Need YOUR Help

I entered a blogging contest at FamousBloggers.net and I can’t win it without you.

Here’s the link to my entry:

Besides helping me to win this contest, you will learn that you don’t really have to have many resources to do well with affiliate marketing - you can compete with super affiliates and still do very well, just like this:

After you read the post, I’d love for you to let me know your thoughts in comments.

It would be even better if you don’t JUST leave a comment, but start a discussion, respond to other commentators’ comments if you find what they said interesting or have a different opinion, etc.

You’ll be doing me a favor, get some exposure for yourself, as well as build some quality links back to your blog.

Also, please remember to share the post with your social media networks. The more, the better.

For every share/comment you give me, I get:

  • Google+: 3 points,
  • Twitter: 1 point,
  • Facebook: 3 points,
  • LinkedIn: 3 points,
  • Comment or Reply: 5 points.

It adds up quickly!

Marketing Takeway

Well, this was not your typical Traffic Generation Cafe post, to say the least…

I truly hope though that you leave my blog today with these thoughts:

  • You are the only one who can say YES or NO to your dreams;
  • Don’t argue with naysayers; show them what you are made of;
  • Black is a beautiful color - color of change;
  • You have to help Ana to win Hesham’s contest.

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Comments

  1. I wear my black sheep label with pride in fact I go out of my way to be different and buck the trend………. my mom often said don’t be one of the sheep be the shepherd. She is right of course but being the blacck sheep is more fun.

  2. I have always been and actually wanted to ne the black sheep in my family. Everyday I tell my 2 teenage daughters not to be sheep but to stand out from the rest and be blacksheep its much more fun. But this backfired recently when one of my girls came home with a note from her school about her attitude and not conforming.

  3. Most of us “choose” our lives by a system of apathy - we do what we’re told for a bit, then we fall into jobs n’stuff and never quite have the courage to remove ourselves from them. Change is scary for most people and taking an active part in decision making takes effort. That’s what I love about NLP…. it makes you realise that only you are responsible for the life you lead and by changing the way you think you can change your reality and ultimately what you do with your life (note, NOT what “happens” to you). It’s worth noting that even if nothing in your reality changes, you can change your reality by changing the way you’re thinking about it…. does that make any sense at all? Great post Ana. And all the best with the competition.

  4. Hi Ana,

    Interesting post. I think the first (and biggest) step to allowing yourself to be different, is to first accept yourself. I think other people’s opinion will knock you down, if you don’t have an opinion of yourself first. I know this sounds cliche, but the more i dig into it the more i find, that you cannot build a building on a foundation of clay. You need a rock-solid opinion of yourself. That place we come to where we are truly comfortable with ourselves, and do not care what other people say.

    • You are so right, Ivin - first we have to TRULY accept ourselves for who we are; with all our flaws and shortcomings and not just strengths.

      Once you do that, building on top of it becomes much easier.

      Good to see you!

  5. The longer you are a black sheep the easier it is to find you. Because you will stand out in a crowd

  6. Haha what a great title. You definitly grabbed my attention 😉

    Good luck with the contest!

    Another black sheep,
    Kenny Sewell

  7. Loved your irreverent tone. I more of an ‘odd duck’ than a black sheep - but I can still relate 🙂
    I am not into internet marketing; but, merely looking for ways to popularize my new site on anxiety attacks. You have provided me some very helpful tips. Thank you!

    • You are very welcome, Ellie.

      In the end, you need to market your site, whatever the niche, so you are basically learning internet marketing. LOL

    • Ellie, you really seem to know the precise outcome you’d like from blogging. My own outcome uses the mighty lever of marketing to provide business-powered social influence …ultimately to help put ignorance and poverty to rest for good. And it also helps keep me in touch.

  8. Hi Ana

    As I said several days ago when I found you, thanks for being you. Your husband deserves a huge “way to go” also. Several years ago I had to do the same and walk away from a profitable account because of what I deemed to be unethical practices. It caused financial struggles for a while but all “Black Sheep” find a way to survive, don’t we?

    Now, let me first say to James Hussey, (this may have been on another thread) sorry James but she is cuter than you!

    Ana, I am learning affiliate marketing (physical products) and have been pondering building a list. Seems if you can stay focused inside a large niche this could be done. But what if you have several sites in different niches; would this not be impossible? I’m thinking I need to enter a broader niche?

    Thanks

    • We are certainly surviving and thriving, Scott.

      How great is it to have a mini family vacation in the prime of our lives, right?

      I know which comment you are talking about. LOL

      I’ve never done niche building before, Scott, so I can’t give you a first-hand answer. However, from everything I’ve read from niche marketers, they still always recommend building lists.

  9. Its like the stars but only astral whereby nebula gaze and flush,
    Its like the lights so burning bright that make my spirit tingle and blush,

    The nice thing about poetry is you can connect things which may seem disconnected, into something flowing, connected and unified.

    Its like the moon in her elune as she sings silver across the clouds,
    Its like the sun in his warm shimmer as he brightens up the crowds,

    Its different people, different words, energies - coming together which is whats making the future - at least for what I am reading on engagement from scratch!

  13. I am definitely proud to be a black sheep. On the long run, hopefully you, I and everyone that also chooses to be on, can find true satisfaction and fulfilment in that choice. Like someone said above, the black sheep are the ones in which true genius lies. Good luck with your contest, I hope you win it.

    -Jean

    • I don’t think it’s very healthy for me to see the words “black sheep” and “genius” on the same line too many times, Jean; I think too highly of myself as it is… LOL

  14. Hang in there Ana; I know myself, how tough these situations can be sometimes. Keeping you and your husband in my thought.

    Every girl needs some positive in her life…hope this comment helps for the contest.
    Be well.

  15. I had read your post in Famous Bloggers and loved it (I also left a comment) but I didn’t realised how important it was.
    I have just shared it again in all possible ways because it deserves it. And so do you Ana, because since the first time I found your blog by chance almost one year ago I’ve admired your determination.

    Keep up the good work!

    Cristina

  16. OK, so there are 2 books that have to be promoted based on this blog post.

    1. Cashflow Quadrant - Robert Kiyosaki
    2. Rascal - Chris Brady

    Information Age = Taking Personal Responsibility for Your Own Security!

    Jobs are for the mis-informed. We live in an Entrepreneur Economy these days. Proud to be a “Black Sheep!”

    Choose to be Unaverage,
    Ron

    • Indeed, Ron.

      I do love all Kiyosaki’s books - very inspiring and right up any black sheep’s alley!

  17. You’ve pretty much got this one right. It is the power of our assumptions that gives us what we get. If you learn to control your assumptions and assume the feeling of having things the way you want them, then that is exactly what follows. There’s a lot of writing out there on this subject, from the Secret to the Power of Awareness, but the practice itself is less common than talk of it.
    I can say from personal experience that when I am in control of my assumptions, money pops up out of nowhere and my life moves in the direction of my dreams. When I lose that control, things start to get really messed up.
    My own personal ambition is to start a self-sustaining community and attempt to live in anarchy with the friends I’ve made over the years. Every time my consciousness is that of the man who would start such a thing, positive changes come raining out of the blue. Every time I’m some guy who makes PVC bending tools and blogs about them, my life gets to be as mundane and frustrating as that assumption makes it out to be.
    What I personally do is remind myself that I AM this person who will found this community, and that what I’m doing now is a necessary step in the process. You can’t settle a community without land, and these days, land costs a lot of money especially when you want land with springs coming out of the mountains. So what I’m doing now is building the financial structure that will build the infrastructure that will be the starting footprint of a self-sustaining way of life.
    The point of all this is that it is this way because I’ve decided it will be this way. Your life is exactly the same, no matter what the exact circumstances are.

    Everyone has an equal stake in this god business, some just sell theirs to an organization.

    • Talk is easy, very true, Adam.

      I loved it when you said that we all have an equal stake in this - we all start from the same place and the same information available to us.

      Where we take it is entirely up to us.

    • LOL, Larry - very true.

      Although I live in Arizona; not sure I’d want to keep my coat when it’s 110+ outside…

  19. The Black Sheep? The way I am going, I sometimes wonder if its me against the world. I exaggerate, but the point is that we have to be strong to make our own way in life. Things just don’t get served on a silver platter anymore.

    I saw your email and understand the issue that derailed your stability; but the stability will return, of that I’m sure. I faced the same issue an year ago - it did shake me up. The positive thing about all this is that you two are still there to support each other!

    Thanks for sharing, it is good to see the humane and somewhat vulnerable yet strong side of someone we have to come to adore and respect.

  21. Hi Ana,

    You mentioned nicely what we should do for our best future. We should take chances for achieve something unique in life.

  22. Overcoming something, yes, for overcoming someone else is strength.
    Overcoming oneself is true power.

    Establishing ones needs is good,
    Helping others establish it is golden.

    We all after all have something to share, a story, a skill, a “way”.

    Thank you for the message Ana.

    There was probably a little mis-understanding with my Destiny Daily mail Nevermind! =]

  23. Ana,

    I loved this post. Been reading for a while and enjoy your great topics and style.

    Tough times make us stronger and while many fear change it truly makes us grow. It’s best, I think, to make a leap every once in a while. Whether you think you are ready or not, or sometimes just before you are pushed 😉 Embrace the change and make it yours (your family’s) You’ll land on your feet and be the better for it.

    Cheers, Steve
    6 points from me…

    • Everything happens for a reason? I strongly believe that, Steve.

      Thanks for bringing me 6 points closer to winning the contest. I must admit I am pretty competitive, but even beyond that, I need something positive happening around me right now.

      • I believe that too Ana. Last spring I lost a third of my 9-5 income, but shortly thereafter I and my site were featured in a National military magazine, which drove double my sites income through the summer.

        It pulled me through and opened the door to to new opportunities when my eventual retirement from the 9-5 comes.

        Thanks for your great site!

  24. Hey Anna! I am right there with you. If we are the black sheep for being entrepreneurs then I’m fine with that! This country was built and survives because of entrepreneurs.

    I don’t get how some people settle and accept a life of mediocrity! No no not me I am way too hungry, way too inspired, have too big of dreams to let them be limited by working for someone else for the rest of my life.

    I look forward to the growth of TGC and would love to help you win the contest. +14 points coming your way 🙂

    • You are so right, Joshua.

      I don’t want to keep asking myself “is this all there’s to life?”, but create something better.

      Sounds a bit cheesy, but it’s not as long as it’s put into action and not just a pretty sign on the wall.

        • You both have it very right, and I appreciate the help that you’ve both given me in learning the specific skills to make this all happen. Following advice from you two and Wong Chengdong, I took a no money making piece of crap company that had two meth heads making a big mess, tossed out the tweekers, and we’re making a profit less than two months later.

          Part of this progress was based on the information that I got off of your blogs, and the rest of it was based on my own assumption that I succeed in whatever I touch.

          It goes a long way to create your own life, and from there, you’re living your creation and knowing it. If there’s something you don’t like, you made it, so unmake it. Super, super cool.

          • Wow Adam! Thank you my friend! I am happy to hear that I’ve been able to impact your success and let me tell you your website looks great.

            This made my day 🙂 Anything else I can do to help give me a holler

          • Get your own blog to talk to each other, you two, or I’ll start charging you for rent… LOL

            Thanks, Adam!

  25. Hi Ana,

    I am enjoying the abundance of these messages.
    This principle for this one is about overcoming. Overcoming fear. Over coming doubt. Its about chasing your dreams, and stopping at nothing.

    With that, because I am sure you have a tough skin - I’d like to add I found your response to my thankyou message cold.

    I know my communication needs work and my delivery is not great, but little bit of heart goes along way.

    • I think our entire lives are about overcoming something, Alex, and we are better people for it - hopefully.

      Sorry you found my message cold; I am sure I didn’t mean to come off that way. Not quite sure what I said to make you feel that way.

  26. Nice to see the title Baa baa black ship I heard after 20 years period and I am gone for past and stuck in my childhood.
    Thanks for provide me this journey.

  27. There really is no future working for someone else. You’re either overworked and underpaid or somewhere along the way someone will expect you to compromise your principles.

    Worse than that, you can lose your job with no warning and for no reason.

    I’ve been telling myself for years that I needed to start my own business. I’m self employed now, but I still depend on 2 people to give me work, since I’m a contractor. This is why IM appealed to me.

    I made a promise to myself that I would start my own business and control my own future. I feel that IM can do that for me.

    As for being a black sheep. I’ve always spoke my mind and stood up for what I think is right. As you can imagine, it hasn’t always been appreciated by those in charge.

    • Either way, you are working on building a business, Fred; the question is whose business is it: yours or your company’s?

      I certainly know what I’d rather do.

  28. Thank you, Ana! You are an inspiration.

    Indeed, making it online is something within reach of all of us. Desire to help people, Determination to succeed , Discipline in our work — and community building — you’re teaching this and more. Thanks!

    Look forward to guest posts from your husband connecting to his own blog?? With bearded photo.

    blessings,
    Cynthia

    • LOL, Cynthia; I made him shave today.

      I am trying to talk him into blogging; he’s got so much expertise to offer!

      However, he’s more of a grayish sheep - would kind of like to do it, but sounds like too much risk.

  29. *applauding vigorously while jumping on my desk*

    Bravo! What really makes this an awesome post for me is that I just added one to my own blog that is on a VERY similar topic. It seems like one of the biggest problems in having your own business is the naysayers who want to tear you down - no matter how much happier you are or how great your plan is.

    It takes a very strong and very brave person to keep their dreams in hand while battling a world that doesn’t want them to succeed, simply because the world doesn’t want to be reminded of how lame they are.

    Great post, as usual. : )

    • Hope your desk didn’t mind it too much, Lindsey. LOL

      Thanks so much for the thumbs up; knowing that I am not alone in this makes me want to fight all the more.

      • Oh, no. You’re nowhere near alone. (Although you probably figured that already.) ; )

        Like I said, it’s hard doing things your way. While that sounds stupid, it really is. Most of us here are talking about our online businesses, but I think more people need to look at other aspects of their lives as well and ask if they are doing what feels right.

        I’m not saying fly by the seat of your pants, but if you don’t take what your heart wants into account because of what others say, you’re dooming yourself to a poor life.

        Example: I got married at 18 to a man who is only 4 months older than me. We were screamed at from all sides that this was stupid, that there was no way we’d make it more than a year, that we weren’t mature enough to make this kind of decision, yadda, yadda. My parents were the only ones supporting us. 6+ years later, we look back and ask “What if we’d listened? We’d be missing out on this!”

        The same thing is occurring in our business. The closer we get to lasting success and consistent income, the more certain people are trying to trip us. It’s sad, but a reality that has to be faced head-on, or it will get in your way.

        I think the best course of action is to throw your hands in the air and holler “Woo hoo! Imma black sheep!” and get it over with. I’ve been doing that since I was about 12 years old, and it has made my life so much easier. : )

        There’s nothing better than knowing you are in control of your life. It’s scary coming to that conclusion since most of us are trained to depend on a j.o.b., but once you wrap your head around it, it is so liberating.

        Keep up the good work - everybody. : )

        • You are so right, Lindsey; the same principles go for the rest of our lives.

          My husband and I have been married for over 14 years now, and in the beginning of our marriage my mother-in-law was planning a party to celebrate the day we divorce… True story.

  31. Privet Ana!

    Spasibo Bolshoe for this Ana 🙂 It is surely a motivation for me, I feel like if we are all singing “Imagine” by Lennon 🙂

    I hate to be a part of the system that makes us this hamsters as you say, so I feel incredibly motivated to build this dream we all have

    Poka!

  32. Hi Ana.
    Those who wish to sing, always find a song! The greatest power is often simple patience. 🙂

    Good luck to you.

  33. Ana, You are not animal
    Animal can’t create
    Animal can’t have dominion
    Animal can’t master mind
    Animal can’t put man on the moon
    Animal can’t write a blog post like this
    You are Ana
    You are so unique just like everyone else 🙂
    You came here with nothing, You will leave with nothing
    Why worry for nothing. the fun is in creating out of nothing:)
    You are Ana
    Just 3 words for you,
    Thank you Ana

  34. I was once a black sheep back in my teen age years. All the unwanted stuff being done but it all changed when I have my own family.. Thanks Ana

  35. Ana
    Being the black sheep of the family makes this post very close to me. Leaving my country of birth and settling down on the other side of the world was hard and my parents waited in hope for my return one day. This will never be. To work hard and lose everything after 20 years in a corporate environment ‘back home’ makes you tougher and more prepared for life ahead. Please draw strength from that, as others have walked before you, as they will behind you…

    I have started again in a foreign land in hope and expectation of a brighter future. I will prevail as you will too.

  36. Hi Ana,

    Sometimes being a black sheep brings bad luck as people cannot understand the nature of black sheep. They just start to shout as loud as possible like black sheep is a Satan and would eat all of them. BTW your post is inspiring and enthusiastic for peoples who are dealing with no future’s problems. I don’t have enough words to comment on your struggle and success in life but I wish a good luck to you n your little beautiful family.

  37. First of all, this is an awesome post, that is SO typical of your success in building a community, Ana! A human, very personal post, with TONS of comments… you should charge admission!

    Kudos to your husband for taking a stance for his values! In the morning, the face he sees in the mirror needs to be someone he’s proud of, or shaving becomes a nightmare. And you can wake up looking at someone you’re proud of, too. That counts more than any paycheck!

    After watching you take this site from install to what it is today, it’s impossible for me to imagine you not being a tremendous success at whatever you set your sights on. I’ll go on record now, predicting that before 2012 comes to an end, you’ll be posting here, laughing about how you were even the slightest bit nervous today.

    And a lot of us will be laughing right along with you. 😉

    • Considering our financial situation, charging admission sounds like a good idea, Sheldon! LOL

      Also, my husband refuses to shave until he gets another job…

  38. Hey Ana,

    Nothing happen without a reason, so this might be the time for taking care of your online business and just get where you want to be!

    Nobody can control the dollar your earn, if it’s yours , then you will have it! Whither you work for a boss or for yourself!

    Working for yourself is sometimes worst 🙂

    Nah, seriously, working for a boss is like building a house over someone else’s land!

    Both will get your tired, but at the end .. at least you will own a house!

    Good luck!

    • You are so right, Hesham.

      Working for someone else means making them rich.

      Though I am not planning on getting rich anytime soon LOL, I will still choose to work for a company with no layoffs - myself, any day.

  39. Hi Ana,
    A very personal, heart felt post. Thank you for trusting us enough to share with us.

    I totally agree that being the “black sheep” is scary and we must keep moving forward despite the naysayers. We all have them in our life. Some people cannot possibly comprehend how I can want to blog and work from home when I have a Ph.D. in reproductive science. To them, I will show them the picture in your post (perfect).

    Off to read your contest post and share. Best of luck!

    • I can only imagine the uproar you caused by wanting to start an online business! For some reason, education makes it more unthinkable that we would make such an unreasonable choice, right?

  40. Chukwuka: Baa… Baa… Black Sheep, have you any wool?

    Reply: Yes, Chukwuka, 3 black wool - one for Ana’s husby, one for Ana and one for Ana’s little girl.

    This post is motivational both from a Traffic Generator’s point of view and from an inspirational point of view; the email also was touching. I’m whipping up a post about what I learnt from this. Friday!

    I’m sorry to hear this. There is a reason for everything though. Better days are ahead, Ana.

    What if you hadn’t ventured into the online business world?

    Regards,
    Chukwuka.

    • Yep, definitely agree Chukwuka, everything happens for a reason. At the time we dont always see the blessings but they are there..just requires a bit of patience, courage and love to get through.

      • Thanks so much, Chukwuka!

        You know you are right though - this post, however unusual it is, is proving to be a great traffic generator; just look at all these comments I’ve been responding to all day!

        It goes to show that we all want to congregate where real people are, not some super bloggers we can’t touch…

  41. Hey Ana! My husband and I have faced very similar circumstances, except we both lost our 9-5, and being over 50, our job choices were beginning to look slim. That is how my website was born. I am still building traffic and haven’t made any money, yet! But I love my dreams and my passion for this business and my site. We have trimmed our lifestyles down drastically, and I really enjoy living simply. It’s amazing how wonderful life can be when you do what you love and you keep your life simple. Many blessings to you both. And remember your thoughts create your reality. So keep them positive.

    • Who needs cable, right, Laura? LOL

      Thanks for your support and if there’s anything I can do for you - I am here.

  42. Ana
    I love reading all that you write, you give so much away that it can only come back to you in abundance. Like you I am going after my dream of being able to provide for all the extras that I dream of for my family by working online….my dreams are very big!!

  43. Every word you’ve written about being a “Black Sheep” is ringing great-big, brass bells in my head! Since losing my job in insurance sales in Sept. of 2010, I’ve been on a path toward building the business of MY dreams. There’s been some tough going over rough terrain. It got even tougher about 3 weeks ago when I finally caved-in and filed bankruptcy to protect myself from creditors that just couldn’t wait another day to start collecting (even though I’m still technically unemployed and not deriving an income from my business). Talk about pressure from all sides to go back to the more “secure” life of conventional job. Though my husband is working full-time, he’s been through cycles of unemployment in the last 3 yrs., so we’re both well aware of the fallacy in believing that being employed by someone other than yourself provides even one shred of real financial security.

    Hang in there Ana and do things the way only YOU can do them. You’re a fantastic blogger and an invaluable resource for your followers! If we’re all black sheep, we’re on heck of a flock!

    • Sometimes life forces our hand to do something unexpected, like starting an online business (I would’ve never thought I’d be online doing what I do a couple of years ago).

      In the end, it just might become the best decision we’ve ever made, Laura.

      We are not nearly in the financial position you are in right now and my prayers go out to you. This additional pressure may be crushing you, but there’s hope at the end for all of us.

      Thanks for your encouraging words and I hope my post encouraged you as well.

  44. Blessings Ana….every cloud has a silver lining and yours has double sparkling sunshine happy making fairy dust covering your family. In my prayers and best wishes to you and the family. All is well.

    • Your prayers are always much appreciated, Ntathu.

      We know at the end we’ll be fine; it’s the trial that’s the hard part.

  45. Ana ~
    Headin’ on over to all the links provided to help you win! Around my house we call it ‘being the Tiger that has to act like the sheep’ after a story told by Joseph Campbell, and I have been the Tiger both personally and professionally all my adult life. I am raising my two boys to be Tigers (or in your definition, black sheep), and even though Tigers are solitary creatures, I have met lots of them in my internet travels.

    Happy to start anything from a discussion to a knock-down-drag-out-fight, and I hope I learn a bunch from some of the new black sheep I will meet!

    Here’s to taking charge of your own success ~ Congratulations!

    http://www.marykathrynjohnson.com/1/post/2011/07/the-michelangelo-of-parenting.html

    • Thanks, Mary Kathryn - congratulations are indeed in order.

      I feel like a winner despite it all and I appreciate your support!

  46. Ha - love it, Phil.

    This is the first time my husband realized the importance of my business as well…

    FamousBloggers is back up and running!

  47. I am trying to talk him into working for himself, Helenee, but he’s a bit more traditional…

  48. I have long admired you and your work Ana!!
    I also admire Diane Hochman, Katie Frieling, Marie Forleo, Frank Kern, Kim Shanahan and many many more you all have inspired me and are shining lights in a dismal world that people matter and people do make it on the net.
    Thank You All for your Perseverance and Individual Strength to overcome adversity.
    Your ardent Admirer,
    Robert

    • If someone is bound to succeed online, why not us, right, Robert?

      Thanks so much for your encouraging words!

  49. Ana, you rock. Your husband rocks, too. And let’s not forget the little one who rocks the random drawings.

    Freedom awaits. Seize the shears and cut your own wool.

    Cheers,

    Mitch

    P.S. Heading over to start a comment pillow fight, or something. 🙂

      • LOL, Mitch - yes, we are a family of independent thinkers!

        I am still smiling after your “pillow fight” comment… Hesham’s blog is putting brakes on me for commenting too quickly there, so I’ll have to get to your comment when it lets me.

        Thanks for jumping in, Ntathu!

  50. Hi Ana,

    Firstly thanks for the personal response, not many bloggers take time out to personally reply.

    Another great post, I will be honest I like been a black sheep and I get fueled up by the doubters who put me down. I once set up a gents hairdressers with a £500 visa card & got the landlord to give me two months free rent, the business turned over around £38K in the first year, guess what I was told… it will never work, well thank you for the help doubters 🙂

    Regards Wayne

    • My blog is nothing without my readers, Wayne, and I mean it!

      Let them say “You can’t do it” and us prosper despite of them!

  51. As long as he is on the right side, Dan, we’ll stand firm.

    And that friend would really appreciate your help with the contest! LOL

  52. Ana -

    You are not a sheep! Black or otherwise.

    I’d say you are a falcon.

    Best of luck in this transition to you and your family. I have a safety net spouse, so I’m very aware of how comforting that has been.

    Best of luck!

    Steve

    • Wow, I think I like being called a falcon, Steve, and it’s a great way to describe the independent thinkers like we are - soaring above the crowds!

  53. Good memory, Jim - we have a 4 year-old girl.

    And she’d better start saving now if she wants to drive a Mercedes on her sweet 16th! LOL

  54. Ana,

    I’ve worked for myself since 1991. There are always a lot of challenges to it, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    There’s no security when your work for others, or when your work for yourself. Forget security and go for the pursuit of excellence instead.

    Darren

    • Once you taste the freedom, it’s hard to go back, right?

      Now I am trying to get my husband to see that, Darren.

  55. Thanks, Oliver! This post and all the comments I am getting in response to it are really inspiring, hopefully to all of us.

  56. Ana,
    This post is right up my alley. You are so right about how people unconsciously follow the current 9 to 5 lifestyle like it is the only choice available. I read a report that stated “99% of humanity lives from a subconscious (sleep like state) for most of their lives.

    It’s the black sheep (the awakened ones) that have to be the ones to wake everyone up from their walking slumber and say, “hey, life doesn’t have to be this way, so wake up and consciously choose and create it.”

    • 99%! I can certainly believe it.

      Our society can say what it wants to, but independent thinking is not always encouraged around here.

      Oh, well, we’ll do it anyway… LOL

  57. Ohh, I didn’t realize you entered as well, Mark!

    I had no intention to until Hesham twisted my arm…

    All the best to you!

  58. Hi Ana,

    I’m thinking about doing some major changes in my life right now. I have been thinking about it for a while, and it’s based upon what you said. I want to be in control. On the other hand, it feels like a giant step to start my own business.

    • I know exactly how you feel, Jens. It’s scary, no question about it.

      In my situation, my hand was forced though and I am grateful for that and look forward to succeeding all the more.

  59. Ana,

    Wow this post really strikes a chord with me.

    I’ve been in business for myself about 6 years now and before that I was working for a relatively small company, punching a clock and basically living paycheck to paycheck and feeling like I was on a treadmill never getting anywhere. Aside from not having any real “security” in that job I had another epiphany as well.

    Any time you are working for someone else there is always going to be some kind of cap on how much money you can make. and most of the time it’s not going to be enough money to live comfortably.

    This was part of the problem I had at this company. Although I excelled at sales and surpassed my sales goals regularly this company would raise the bar and up the sales goals to make it harder to earn commissions. So in other words they were going to keep changing the pay structure to make sure I didn’t make too much money.

    When I first went into business for myself I heard all the same lines you mentioned. “Dude when are you going to get a REAL job” etc. etc.

    Well 6 years later I am still not listening to the naysayers LOL. I guess I’m a black sheep too. 🙂

    Here is another funny thing I hear people say all the time. “Well this job has great benefits (health insurance and a 401k) vacation time.

    Well guess what people? you can get health insurance as an entrepreneur and also you can create a retirement self funded tax deductible retirement plan (SEP IRA) and you can also have a vacation. So don’t use silly things like “benefits” to justify the reasoning for working for a company with so called “security”. or being “normal”

    It’s really funny in retrospect I look back on my time there now and I think to myself “how the hell can people live like that?”

    But I used to be one of them too. LOL.

    That being said Ana you are doing an excellent job here on Traffic Generation Cafe and on my blog. I’m also proud of you for your optimistic outlook and making the decision to not be just another sheep.

    And you are soooooo right when you say that it’s a choice. It’s ABSOLUTELY a choice. I know you have what it takes to succeed! So keep it up.

    Now I’m off to check out your contest post! 🙂

    • I can’t imagine you doing anything else but working for yourself, Gerald.

      I am so seriously impressed with how you run your business; you’ve inspired me to keep going on more than one occasion indeed.

      My husband is conditioned to get a job with a health plan. I keep telling him that he’d be much happier doing contract work and working for himself and he keeps saying “What about the benefits?” All that education is going into his head and not letting him think clearly… LOL

      I am actually so looking forward to this challenge! Some people bend down under pressure and criticism; fortunately, it only fuels me.

  60. Gorgeous Ana,
    Mac n’ Cheese be damned - everyone here deserves eye fillet of the largest proportion!
    You of all people are amazingly strong, incredibly intuitive and more knowledgeable in this space of building successful businesses (that’s right I said business and meant business - not a mummy blog or a little hobby while you raise the kids!)
    One day all of those who kindly held your hand and suggested that ‘maybe it’s time you went back into marketing’ will look back and marvel at your seemingly overnight success.
    What they’ll never know is that you’re already successful - they just don’t have the lens to see it.
    Love, hugs and all the empowerment shared vision brings.
    Nikki

    • I SOOO appreciate it, Nikki!

      I know you understand what it feels like to go against the grain and work on building a true asset for you family: a business, NOT a hobby.

  61. Hello
    I am sorry to hear you are going through tough times
    I know all about being different and paying a price for it!
    What matters is not to fit in the box but to remain true and authentic!
    May God bless you and uplift you!
    Love and light,
    lucy

  62. Ana - you are strong, amazing, and determined - and so what if you are the black sheep? We’re a LOT more fun! I’ve been the pseudo black sheep of my family and community for years, after first having three too many kids with health issues (didn’t I know I should have stopped with one? Yeah right), and then trying to earn a living online after my husband’s health started failing. You aren’t alone … and being a black sheep can be fun (and scary, but let’s not talk about that!)

  63. Of course, I’ll give you my vote of confidence. Good on you and your husband for standing up for what you believe. As a Christian, I’ve had to to a lot of that as well. People sometimes can’t believe why you won’t sell your soul for a little lie, but it means too much to me to do that. I pray that my kids grow up to stand up for what they’ve learned.
    You have my vote.

    • Yes, Anne, we are having a hard time explaining it to my husband’s family.

      “You did WHAT? Because of WHY?”

      We are not to conform with the world though…

  64. These days there are so many people doing their own thing outside of the 9-5 world. Some are forced by lay-off, some just hate the job, some seek a different life dream. In or out of the system we have to live with integrity if we want to be proud of who and what we are. Bob Dylan long time ago wrote a line I love: “To live outside the law you have to be honest”. And community, as part of business and seeking of, and giving support to others is important. No “us” or “them”, let’s all just do our level best to do our best, inside of, or especially outside of the system.

    • Integrity no matter what business you are in - we need more people who understand that, don’t we, Johann?

  65. Ah…there is no joy greater than being forced to walk a new path. Actually I’m quite serious when I say that. So far I’ve been forced to do this three times (not always layoffs, any major life change that pushes you in a new direction). Each time it’s been a relatively painful process. And each time I’ve looked back (after the painful part) and realized, “Wow, I’m so much happier where I am now!”

    Good luck with your new journey!

    • Very true, Alexis - at the end, we are all better people because of those painful experiences IF we choose to learn from them and walk the new path.

      As much as I look forward to this chapter of our lives to be over, I still strive to enjoy every day of it.

  66. Heya Anna,
    I feel you on how we all making our dreams
    Spending all our nights coming up with internet schemes
    buying lots of products hoping they do what they seem
    and doing it all alone without someone on our team

    I want to offer something you might find to be useful
    its not really dreaming that you stay up at night to do
    Obviously you’re awake with keystrokes intentional
    there is a plan at work to eventually pick the fruit

    So as I say Big Up to you and to your listeners too
    something else I’ve found is true
    diversity benefits you

    See I just started recording these rhymes about a week ago
    I’ve been very pleased to see how they’ve widened up my zone
    so what I’m saying is as you make your next article
    think if there’s any other media any anywhere else it might go

    I see how you currently got blog, email and video
    you could turn some form of those into audio
    .pdf is another option, also is slideshow
    diversity keeps things coming in by giving you more places to show

    Hope this helps out with all you’re going through
    big respect to your family your work will pay off soon
    and a thank you is also do to y’all from my family
    the help you’ve given me provides for them in ways they can’t see

    Kepp up the good work that you are doing when everyone else is snoring
    there’ll probably be MONEY in your email in the morning!

    -“old man” Ras Au-t Amam

  67. Hello Ana,
    Switched my Computer on, feeling a bit fed up. Friends at work almost gloating that I have not started my internet business yet. Family looking at me with almost sympathetic facial gestures quietly hoping that I soon return to ground and get on with my normal life and stop ‘Dreaming’. “He is 47 years old. Is he going mad”.
    I read your post and my spirit soared. The midnight oil burns low yet I shall never give up.
    Thank you Ana.

  68. A fiesty Ana… I LOVE it! With that kind of determination you can move mountains, and I know you will. 🙂

    Congrats on the leaderboard win and good luck with the contest. I’m scooting over there now, if it’s back up.

    Thanks for inspiring me today!
    Peggy

    • Much appreciated, Peggy.

      You have no idea how much your gesture of adding comments to both posts means to me - talks louder than anything else!

  69. Remember the adage of doors closing and windows opening? Many times the universe has to really get our attention before we find the courage to fulfill our life’s purpose. My advice is to look at this change in your life as an opportunity to focus on the activities that feed your soul, your dreams, and your self-worth. Abundance is everywhere. You simply need to tap into the flow. Now is your chance.
    Good luck on your journey!
    ~Pat

  71. Lots of black sheep here Ana! And I totally love the cat photo!

    What we are asked as children is, “What do you want to do /be when you grow up? But almost always this segues into “What kind of employee do you want to be?”

    Do we tell kids they can be self employed? Or business owners? Or entrepreneurs?
    We limit their world before they even start.

    Only a few rebels survive this brainwashing…well done to those that do!

    • You are so right, Alex.

      We are lead to believe we can be anything we want to be, yet are expected to do well in school, go to college and get a nice “stable” job.

  72. Hey Ana, well done on hitting the leaderboards like that! I just recently came across your blog via Blokube and I’m loving it. I tried to help over on Famousbloggers but it kept giving me an error. I will try later tonight for you.

    All the best!

    Rachael

    • Thanks so much, Rachael!

      I heard they had some problems early this morning (I probably sent them too much traffic, LOL), but FamousBloggers is back up and running.

  73. Hey Ana,

    Black sheep rock!

    Sorry to hear about your husband’s job, but glad to see he stood up for what he believes in. My husband and I have a saying too: “It’s you and me against the world babe.” -And this has rung true many times! I will definitely vote for your post!

    Tracy

    • It’s a wonderful thing to have a spouse to stand by you through thick and thin, isn’t it, Tracy?..

  74. Hi Ana,

    I can really relate to this post. I think I was born as a black sheep! LOL When I was 18, I decided to leave the horribly abusive home of my father, and start a new life for myself. I was labeled the ‘black sheep’, and none of my family spoke to me for over 10 years, except the one sister who took me into her home so I would have a place to live.

    Over the years I’ve heard from one other sister. My father, and two brothers died due to the craziness, and never spoke to me. However, I have been very blessed in my life. I refused to accept the horrible things that were done in our home and for that reason was given the label.

    I will go to your article and help you in this endeavor. I am sorry to hear about what happened to your husband, but take heart because he will be blessed for not giving in and standing up for what he believes. Very few men, nowadays anyway, have such integrity. I am proud of him. Sally

    • I am definitely blessed with a wonderful man by my side, Sally.

      What a story you have! Actually reminds me of my own in many ways…

      But we put it behind us and make our own lives! I know so many people grow up blaming someone else for their misfortunes and what good does that do, right?

    • Thanks, Ileane!

      What’s going on with everyone’s sites today…

      It’s back up and running now.

      Would you please give me the thumbs up on Blogengage and Blokube, Ileane?

  76. Hey Ana,

    You GO GIRL! It’s an awesome feeling isn’t it? I remember when I first landed on the leader boards, seeing your name with the big dogs. I have to say with a list that size, you did AWESOME! 21% consistent open rate, time to make your own product lady. We could use a strong woman competing with all us boys. Again, CONGRATS!
    Chad

    • I think I have a few sleepless nights scheduled in the near future, Chad. LOL

      Do you have a product of your own? I am still not convinced that it’s a big money-maker, yet everyone says I should…

    • Thanks for the link and encouragement, Dave.

      I am not sure I wan to be “happy” per se; I don’t mind the storms. What I’d really love to be is fulfilled and purposeful.

      I am working on that…

    • Your prayers are greatly appreciated, Josh - I know God’s got it under control. I just hope He lets us in on His plans soon. LOL

  79. I agree with you 100%. Right now I feel like I am in a crossroads right now. I want to start my own company and I feel that it is within blogging. I have read books that is within the same lines as what you have written. I currently work for the university newspaper and I and I know that I want to venture out, but I always hear that I should at least work in a newspaper that is outside the university setting before venturing out. I just need that push to follow my dreams.

    • It’s a big decision to make and, of course, it’s entirely up to you; however… waiting too long might be a sign of lack of true willingness to step outside the “norm” - you know what I mean?

  80. Hay Ana I Read all the email’s you send and I have to say
    Baa Baa Black sheep sound’s a lot like me and the Email that sent me to this was great as well
    And I thank you for that I have learned a lot from your Café
    To your success
    Roy

  81. Ana,

    One of the most depressing statements ever uttered is “I’d Love to but…”

    I’d love to have my own blog community but I have a 9-5 job…

    I’d love to write a book but I can find the time…

    Excuses are sad, we lose of piece of our soul every time we allow an excuse to dictate our lives…

    I have a feeling you will be just fine Ana and the people of your community such as myself will be here to support you.

    Thank you,

    Ryan H.

    • Thank you, Ryan.

      I am amazed how much support I am getting from online community right now; just goes to show that there are so many dreamers out there.

      I completely understand where you are coming from. I don’t know if you have a family or not, but I think it’s much more difficult for men to step out and venture on their own. Too many responsibilities and obligations.

      Doing it on the side is always possible though. Just forget about sleep for 3-4 nights, and your first ebook will be ready! LOL

  82. Hi Ana
    I know where you are coming from,they always love to kick a bog when its down..but I just pick my self up and get right back in there..most people who try to put other peoples efforts down…are the ones how wish they had the determination to succeed as you will…never look back.

    Peter

  83. Ever notice how much we like it when someone eloquently re-states what we enjoy believing? I love the healthy attitude, and appreciate the gathering of resources available here at TGC to help making blogging available to all of us black sheep! Please take care of yourselves, and make sure you’re getting proper fuel to face your new challenges - fighter jets don’t fly well on diesel!

  84. “Many times being a black sheep takes courage, tenacity, determination, willpower, and thick skin.”

    EMPHASIS ON “THICK SKIN”.

    Major fights in our household about “going to get a real job”, voiced by backstabbers and worst, my wife. All the while we were digging out from under a career change, and positive things were happening everyday.

    But if you (as the black sheep) don’t follow the flock, they bite! I’ve had my bags packed more than once and was headed for the door - I will do this, together, or alone.

    Tough decisions time, but realize you’re not the only one on this path. And the rest of the black sheep are very, very supportive. 🙂

    Wishing you and your family all the best, Ana!

    • Hear you hear Gibson, it’s incredible the stress branching out on your own puts on your family life. Everything thinks it would be just much easier if you ‘just got a job’ or in our case ‘sent your husband back out to get a fulltime job’.
      What they don’t realise is that with ‘just a job’ comes absolutely no choice, no real ability to make a difference and no control. We had our kids for a reason and we’re doing this so we’re around for them.
      Unfortunately overnight success takes years and thick skin as you say and the ability to put aside all those suggestions from those who supposedly love you (but always took the path of just a job) and build your dream.
      Good luck with yours Gibson - may the power of our collective vision drive us all on to build businesses where we have choice, where we get to decide and where ultimately, we’ll have a saleable asset that those who supposedly enjoyed ‘their job’ will look on and say ‘how on earth did they do it’?!
      For now, I’ll wonder when we’ll ever fix the house but carry on with my vision in mind. You keep heading towards yours x

      • Thanks for encouraging Gib, Nikki - it’s always great to know that there are many others online who share our dreams.

        Gib - it certainly does help to have your wife on board… This must put tremendous pressure on you.

        My husband used to look down at my business, but he doesn’t now that it’s our only source of income.

  85. Hope you win the contest Ana! I will go support you on the other sites!

    I was born the black sheep of my family. I am the only entrepreneur! I have wealthy family members that kept telling me years ago that I should just go get another job after Alaska Airlines outsourced our whole work group.

    I am glad I took the difficult route and now have 7 domains and multiple sub domains. I am not wealthy but I do have 100% control over my future. I am looking for other people that want to also have 100% control over their future. It takes a different person to go on an unknown path of making a living online. The freedom is awesome!

    • I do love having control over my life, Danielle - no one can tell me to start looking for another job!

  86. Ana,

    Sorry to hear of your misfortune, but it is the test that makes us all stronger.
    I am still confined to a 9-5 myself as I make my journey to blogging. It is
    difficult, yet so rewarding when you I can say “I did this myself”.

    It is a pleasure for me to help you win this contest because you have certainly
    helped me realise that I can make it and I will. Win this thing!

  87. Hi Ana!
    I am SO Totally with YOU! Ya know, I believe “Black Sheep” is just a transitional term to what it truly means - “To Be Yourself”, Your Wonderful True Self, to do your own thing, on your own terms, in your own way, exactly when and how you want to do it.
    And, isn’t that just the true essence and reason why we are here? - To live our lives the way we desire and want.
    I know it’s not easy when we get caught up in the expected world of “shoulds” and others’ expectations, and the crazy whirlwind around us we can’t control.
    BUT, when we can find a way to break away and trek our own way, do our own thing, and succeed, that is a truly amazing thing. I applaud anyone who is on this track right now. I’m totally with you, and wish you well on your journey…

  88. I was born the black sheep. 😉 Nothing negative to it at all, as you said, just different lady. Good for you and your hubby, standing up for what you believe in.

    • Thanks, Cory!

      I now you are no stranger to diversity and I was always impressed at how you were able to stand up to anything life brought your way; especially recently.

  89. Ana,

    You hit the nail on the head. Dusting yourself off and taking another run at the hill is the key to being successful, not money. I was in sales and was very successful, I lived on a boat in the Caribbean for 8 years and loved that, I started a business in the Virgin Islands and built it for 3 1/2 years until my silent partner took it all away and has left me with the option of spending 5 years and $50K suing him, or walking away.

    The emotional cost is too great a price for me. I’ve decided to dust myself off and take another run at the hill instead.

    My wife and I started a list called the “Good Life”. It includes community, helping others, and pursuing our love of travel. EVERY decision we make in our lives includes those basic ideas.

    That is why I am working on launching a site in the next few months, and why I hired you, Ana, to help with that goal. You are a “real” person and a real inspiration to others.

    • Wow, Steve - so you know how it feels to be both on the top and the bottom…

      I was just as happy being in the middle, but now I am not so sure. Now that the world is telling me “You can’t do it”, I want to do it all the more!

      Emotional roller-coaster is the worst though; I completely agree.

      Thanks for showing your support!

  91. I hope we haven’t gotten to the point that independent thinkers are viewed as “black sheep” if that term has a negative connotation to you. And independent thinkers or entrepreneurs don’t normally feel put upon by anybody. That’s the freedom we enjoy-being in control of our own feelings.

    A business partner of mine liked to say, “I’ll stick it to the man…. uh oh, I AM the man”. So if we bolt from the employee world, we can either choose to be THE man or woman or we can sleep in a park and live off the public dole. It’s an easy decision for me. Ana, glad it’s an easy decision for you too.

    • You are so right, Chris.

      I don’t necessarily think that society is unkind to all business owners, but more so to online business owners because, despite the fact that we are very technologically inclined society, making money online is still a mystery to most.

  92. Wow, congrats on the amazing results Ana. And I’m totally in agreement with you on everything you said at the beginning of the post.

    I’ll definitely be sharing your post over at FamousBloggers.

  93. I’m right there with ya girl! I’ve always been the black sheep in my family and friends! I am the one they call “different” but I love it! I love knowing I am me and no one else is like me. High Five to us “different” girls! 🙂